Contents Preface xiii The Venerable Master Hsuan Hua xvii
October 1977 First I lost my temper, then I lost my finger 1 Rely on the Dharma, not on ego 5 America is the Western Land of Ultimate Bliss! 6 I feel ready to make the vows 8 The old plastic pail 9 Walk the proper path 11 Howl! Swoosh! Do the dishes! 11 I wore no gloves and no kneepads Why? 14 Like a turning ring of fire, with no beginning or end 15 The breath should be even and natural 18 There is no other Buddha 18 On a train 20 Beginning to appreciate her world 20
November 1977 This work takes time 23 Robbing a bank on Halloween 23 Ashamed at my selfishness 24 The words are black and the paper is white 24 Now Iíªm just feeling uptight 27 Come to Gold Mountain and put it down 28 A significant absence of sexual desire 31 These are your Dharma Protectors 32 Reaching for an apple on a rickety ladder 33 Use whatever works for you 35 Pretty small and defiled 36 The water is left running a little 36 Self is created to attach to states 37 Catching the fire energy 37 Repent, and pay no attention 40 There is nothing to debate or dispute 40 No charm will win this prize 41 We are both fasting 43 Do not cause beings to lose their faith 43 God on our side 44 Does the spotlight still throw a shadow? 46 Are you sure? 47 Food is love 48 I am a monk on the inside now 48 Taking the ego-child across 49 Lots of mistakes, but no blues 50 Your own womb 51 Turn catastrophes into auspiciousness 52 Awaken the Buddha seeds within 53 He sat in full lotus, reciting a mantra 54 This is home 57 We are only passing through 59 Returning now back to my real original home 62 Itíªs my mind that caníªt be filled 62 Twentieth century asceticism 65 As soon as it is described it ends 66 A mirror to each otheríªs experiences 67 When in doubt, bow 67 Keep working all the time 68 The machine that projects past lives onto a screen 69 Itíªs okay to be quiet 71 Maybe on another planet 71 I am not bowing for food! 74 The right road feels wrong 75 It feels like a burning house 77 We just look poor on the outside 78 For nine months, no pumpkin pie 79 Afraid you woníªt get your fill 80 The fullmoon-crazed mind 82 Just checking to see if anyone was sick 82 What a sacrifice! 84 Having touched a young baby 85 Youíªre blessing this highway, areníªt you? 86 Thereíªs nothing left to burn 86 Water does not work that way 87 Waiting out the fire pressure 88
December 1977 Business is bad 89 Welcome back to the world 89 It was like turning off the power switch 90 Bodhisattvas are what people can become 91 When I feel close to death 92 Big doubt produces big enlightenment 92 The Ego is really scared and fighting back hard 93 It is the face of the Master 94 I have already surpassed chemical or dope highs 94 The wordless, silent bowing state 96 If you sit more, you see more 96 Nabbing and shooting the false thought 97 Staring at the television screen 98 Where will Heng Sure be? 98 The expression of resolve 99 Small town of Guadalupe 99 A trap íV a one-way door to a maze 99 Our boys told us what you are doing 100 I learned it all by my self 101 Leaving earth like a three-stage rocket 102 The urges, and cures 104 Anybody can become nobody 105 Boy, you guys got guts 106 We better take less or weíªll never make it 106 None other than Manjushri Bodhisattva himself 107 Dead ends íV pleasant or unpleasant 111 Red and yellow precept-pizza 113 Doníªt get angry, swo pe he 118
